Shadow Work: Prompts, Exercises and a Guided Journey

Shadow work is the practice of getting to know the parts of yourself that you have pushed out of sight, so that they stop driving your reactions without you noticing. These parts are often feelings, needs or strengths that you learned early on were not welcome.

This guide explains what the term means, where it comes from and how to begin. You will find thirty prompts, four exercises for beginners, a guided journey in the shamanic tradition I teach, and clear advice on safety.

In this guide

• What is shadow work?
• Carl Jung and the shadow
• Signs your shadow is showing up
• Shadow work prompts and questions
• Shadow work exercises for beginners
• A guided shadow journey
• Your power animal’s shadow
• When the shadow isn’t only yours
• Can you do shadow work alone?
• Is shadow work dangerous? Safety and integration
• From my practice
• Make shadow work a daily practice
• Frequently asked questions

What is shadow work?

As children we quickly learn which feelings get a warm reaction and which get a cold one. Anger, neediness, grief, ambition, loudness, softness: if it was not welcome at home or at school, we hid it so that we could stay safe and belong. Those parts do not disappear. They come out in other ways: an outburst far bigger than the situation, a person who irritates us beyond reason, a habit we cannot drop. The shadow work meaning, in plain terms, is to stop fighting those reactions and start asking where they come from.

In shamanic language this is close to soul loss. In shamanic understanding, when something is too much for a child to feel, a part of the soul can leave with it. In my work with soul retrieval I often find that the part that left is the same part a person later meets as their shadow. This is a spiritual way of looking at it, not a clinical diagnosis.

We also push away gifts. A child who is told not to show off may bury her confidence, and a boy teased for being sensitive may bury his tenderness. Writers after Jung called this the golden shadow: the strengths and warmth we disowned because they made us stand out.

Carl Jung and the shadow

Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and the founder of analytical psychology. He described the shadow as the part of the personality that lives in the unconscious because the conscious ego does not identify with it. What we believe we are decides what we leave out, and what we leave out becomes the shadow.

He also described projection. When we cannot recognise a quality in ourselves, we tend to see it clearly in other people and react to it strongly. Not every strong reaction is a projection, though. Sometimes you are simply seeing someone accurately.

Jung did not aim to get rid of the shadow. His goal was integration: knowing these parts, taking responsibility for them and choosing how to live them. He saw this as lifelong work, and the shadow is never fully integrated. The term shadow work itself came later, in popular psychology. Shamanic practice and Jung meet here, because both treat the unseen parts of us as real. They differ in method. Jung worked with dreams and with active imagination, a conscious dialogue with inner figures while you are awake. It resembles the shamanic journey, but it is not the same. In the shamanic tradition we ask spirit helpers for support and journey to meet the shadow as a figure in a different state of awareness.

Signs your shadow is showing up

These are the signs I hear about most in my groups.

• Reactions out of proportion. A small comment leaves you furious for the rest of the day, and you cannot say why.
• The same conflict with different people. New job, new partner, new friends, and the same argument turns up again.
• What annoys you most in others. Look closely at the trait you cannot stand in others, especially when your reaction is stronger than what the person actually did.
• Things you swear you would never do. A very firm “I would never” often points to something you have not allowed yourself to feel.
• Praise you cannot accept. If a compliment makes you squirm or explain it away, your golden shadow may be involved.
• A body reaction before you know why. Your stomach tightens or your jaw clenches before your mind has caught up.

Shadow work prompts and questions

Shadow work prompts are written questions that help you look at what you usually avoid. Take one prompt per sitting and write by hand for 10 to 15 minutes. Do not edit yourself, because nobody will read this. You may skip any prompt. If it becomes too much, put the pen down, drink some water and come back another day.

The childhood and self-worth prompts can touch painful memories. If you have a history of abuse or neglect, leave them out for now or work with them alongside a therapist.

Prompts about your triggers

1. Which comment made you angry last week, and what did you hear underneath it?
2. Think of someone whose behaviour you can hardly stand. Which of their qualities do you secretly wish you were allowed to have?
3. When you feel small in a conversation, how old do you feel?
4. Describe the last time you apologised although you did not think you were wrong. What were you afraid of?
5. If your strongest trigger could speak, what would it say it is protecting?
6. Which criticism lands in the same spot every time, whoever says it?

Prompts about your childhood

1. Which feelings were not allowed in the house you grew up in, and how could you tell?
2. Finish this sentence as often as you can: “A good child never …”
3. Who in your family was allowed to be angry, and who had to stay calm?
4. Write about a moment when you were told to be quiet. What did you decide about yourself that day?
5. How did you get attention as a child, and what did you learn to do without?
6. If you could sit beside yourself at seven years old, what would you want that child to hear?

Prompts about relationships

1. In which relationship do you shrink the most, and in which do you take up too much space?
2. Which part of yourself do you hide from the people closest to you?
3. Name a pattern that has repeated in three of your relationships. What is your own part in it?
4. Who is hardest for you to say no to, and what do you believe you would lose?
5. Think of the last time you felt jealous. What did that jealousy say you wanted?
6. Which role do you always play in a group, and what happens when you step out of it?

Prompts about self-worth

1. Which sentence about yourself do you repeat when things go wrong, and whose voice does it sound like?
2. Where do you work harder than necessary in order to feel you deserve your place?
3. Write down something you feel embarrassed about (not your deepest shame), then what you would say to a friend who told you the same.
4. How do you treat yourself after a failure, and who taught you to do it that way?
5. If you were of no use to anyone for a month, what would you fear people thought of you?
6. Which part of yourself have you tried to fix for years, and what would change if it were simply allowed to be there?

Prompts for your golden shadow

1. Whom do you admire so much that it makes you uneasy? Which of their qualities already lives in you, unused?
2. Recall a compliment you brushed off. What would it be like to say thank you and believe it?
3. Which talent did you give up because it felt too big or too loud for the people around you?
4. You do something so naturally that you assume everyone can. Why might it be rarer than you think?
5. If nobody could judge you, what would you start doing this week?
6. Which childhood dream did you laugh off before anyone else had the chance?

Shadow work exercises for beginners

If you prefer to do something rather than only write, these four exercises are a good place to start. They move from the mind into the body and then into imagination.

1. The projection journal

Time: 10 minutes a day for one week. You need: a notebook and a pen.

This shows you what you project onto other people, so that you can reclaim it.

1. Each evening, write down one moment when someone irritated or impressed you more than you expected.
2. Describe the exact behaviour you reacted to, in one or two sentences.
3. Name the quality behind it in one word, such as selfish, loud, confident or free.
4. Ask yourself honestly where you show this quality, even in a small way. If you cannot find it, ask where you hold it back.
5. At the end of the week, underline the words that came up more than once. Those words are good places to look further.

2. A letter to the part you sent away

Time: 25 minutes. You need: paper, a pen and a quiet room.

This opens a conversation with one specific part of you and lets that part answer.

1. Choose one part you have rejected, for instance your anger or your need for attention.
2. Write it a letter with your dominant hand. Tell it why you pushed it away and what that has cost you. Write with respect, not blame.
3. Put the pen into your non-dominant hand. It feels clumsy, and that is the point, because you can no longer write on autopilot.
4. Let the part write back with that hand. Do not plan the answer, even if it is only a few words. If the reply is hostile or upsetting, stop, press your feet into the floor and come back another day.
5. Read the reply aloud, then write one sentence of thanks for what this part was trying to do for you.

3. Finding the shadow in your body

Time: 15 minutes. You need: a chair or a mat.

Triggers live in the body before they reach words, so this teaches you to find them there.

1. Sit comfortably and recall a recent moment when you were mildly triggered, not your worst one. Let it come back gently, not at full strength.
2. Scan your body from your feet to your head. Notice where something tightens, burns, sinks or goes numb.
3. Breathe into that spot for a few minutes and make your exhale longer than your inhale. If the feeling grows stronger, or you feel numb or dizzy, open your eyes and go straight to the last step.
4. Name what lives there in a single word, such as fear, shame or rage.
5. Place your hand on the spot and tell this part of you that you have noticed it.
6. Finish by pressing your feet into the floor and naming five things you can see.

4. Meeting your shadow with your power animal

Time: 15 to 20 minutes. You need: a quiet place and a blanket.

This short practice lets you approach a difficult part with a protector beside you. It is not a full journey, and it works best once you are comfortable with the first three exercises. If you do not have a power animal yet, ask for a protective helper instead: a person you trust or a place where you feel safe.

1. Sit or lie down, close your eyes and take ten slow breaths.
2. Ask your power animal to come close. Notice where it stands and let yourself feel its steadiness.
3. Think of the trigger you want to look at. Imagine the part behind it a few steps away, with your animal between you.
4. Ask this part one question: what do you need from me? Listen without arguing.
5. Thank the part and your animal, open your eyes slowly and write down what you saw.

If what you meet frightens you, my article on what to do if your spirit animal is scary will help you make sense of it.

A guided shadow journey

This journey is for people who already have some practice. If you have never journeyed, learn the basics first in my guide to shamanic journeying. It works best after a few weeks of prompts and exercises, when you know which part of you wants to be met.

Please leave this journey aside if you are in acute crisis, live with a psychotic or dissociative disorder, or are working through trauma without support. If you have epilepsy, check with your doctor before you work with rhythmic drumming.

Preparation. Set aside 20 to 30 minutes where nobody will disturb you. Lie down, cover your eyes and play a journey drumming track of 15 to 20 minutes with a call-back signal at the end. Many tracks use a steady beat of about 200 to 220 beats per minute, the rhythm made popular by Core Shamanism. Other traditions drum differently, and that is fine. Ask your power animal (or, if you have not met one yet, a protective helper) to come with you and state your intention in one sentence, for example: “I want to meet the part of me that I have been avoiding.”

Arriving. Feel the weight of your body on the ground. Breathe in slowly and let the breath out a little longer. With every out-breath your body gets heavier and rests more on the ground. Let the drum fill your ears. Call your power animal, wait until you feel it near you and thank it for coming.

Going down. In front of you there is an opening in the earth: a cave, a hollow tree, a set of steps. Your animal goes first and you follow. The path winds gently down, and the air is cool and quiet. If you want to stop at any point, open your eyes. Walk until the path opens into a wider space.

The meeting. In this space something is waiting that holds your shadow. It may be a person, a child, an animal or a room. Do not decide in advance. Let it appear and take your time to look at it, with your animal at your side. Greet it and say that you have come to listen. Ask: what did you protect me from? Wait for the answer in whatever form it comes. Then ask: what do you need from me now? Listen again. If the figure is angry, you do not have to stay. Tell it you will come back another time and ask your animal to take you back. If it is small and afraid, stay with it as long as it feels right.

The gift. Now notice that the figure holds something for you, or that you hold something for it. It might be an object, a word, a colour or a touch. Receive it or give it, whichever feels right, and feel what it does in your body. Thank the figure and tell it that you will come back.

Returning. Turn and follow your animal back along the path, up through the opening and into the light. When the drum changes to the call-back signal, or when your time is up, count slowly from one to five. At one, feel your feet. At two, your hands. At three, your breath. At four, move your fingers and toes. At five, open your eyes. Stay lying down for a few minutes, thank your power animal and write down everything you remember before it fades.

When the shadow isn’t only yours

Sometimes a pattern does not seem to belong to your own story. You meet a fear with no event behind it, or you obey a rule nobody ever told you. In many families there are feelings that no one was allowed to have: grief after a loss, anger about the way things were, shame about a secret. In the shamanic view, they pass quietly to the next person who is sensitive enough to carry them.

A family line carries gifts and burdens, and one person can take up the burden for everyone without knowing it. In the five Ancestral Light Sessions we work on what your line carried, so that you can begin to put down what was never yours and keep the strength your ancestors also passed on.

Can you do shadow work alone?

Yes, you can start shadow work on your own. The prompts, the projection journal and the body exercise are made for that. Go in this order: a few weeks of prompts and the projection journal first, then the letter and the body exercise, and the journey only when you have some practice.

Bring in support when the same memory keeps coming back, when you cannot settle after a session, or when you notice you are avoiding the work because it scares you. A therapist, a trained practitioner or a group can hold what is too heavy to carry alone.

Is shadow work dangerous? Safety and integration

For most people this work is uncomfortable at times but manageable. It is not risk-free, though. The risk grows when you rush or carry heavy experiences without enough support. After any session, come back into your everyday self:

• Drink water and eat something warm.
• Go for a short walk and feel your feet on the ground.
• Write down what came up.
• Leave important decisions and difficult conversations for another day.

Stop if you feel flooded by emotion that does not settle, numb or far away from your body, or if old memories come up so strongly that you cannot function afterwards. These are signs that the pace is too fast for now. In that moment, open your eyes, put both feet on the floor, name five things you can see and splash cold water on your face. Then call someone you trust.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself or feel unsafe, stop and contact a crisis line or emergency services right away.

As a spiritual practice, this work can go alongside therapy, and many people find that the two support each other. It does not replace therapy. If you live with trauma, a history of abuse or an ongoing mental health crisis, please work with a trauma-informed therapist first. The same applies if you live with PTSD, a psychotic or dissociative disorder: this guide is not a substitute for treatment. Looking after yourself like this is part of the work.

From my practice

In the circles I lead, people arrive expecting to find a monster or a terrible secret. What they usually meet is something young and scared.

Here is a pattern I often hear about, put together from many participants with the details changed. Someone comes in irritated by loud people. After a week with the projection journal they notice that the people who bother them most are not aggressive at all, just present without apologising for it. When they meet that part with their power animal, what shows up is often a child who learned very early to keep quiet.

Nothing dramatic happens after that. A few weeks later they say something in a meeting before they can talk themselves out of it, and nobody minds. The irritation turns into curiosity. Experiences vary, but in my experience change is usually small, and you can miss it if you expect something dramatic.

Make shadow work a daily practice

Shadow work goes best in small, regular steps. One intense weekend can stir up a lot and leave you alone with it on Monday morning. Ten or fifteen minutes a day give your body and mind time to take things in.

If you would like structure, 30 Days of Shamanism is built around this idea. It asks for 15 minutes a day for thirty days, and in week three you take the journey to your power animal. By then you have a rhythm, so the meeting is the next step and not a leap.

Frequently asked questions

You do not have to look at everything at once, and one honest page of writing is enough for today. Which part of yourself are you most curious to meet first? Tell me in the comments.