The Threat Is Not What Harms You. Your Fear Is

Over the years, people have come to me genuinely overwhelmed by fear — fear of the unknown, of a particular person, of a hex or a curse, of being watched or followed. Some of that fear is planted deliberately. There are people who gain a sense of power, and sometimes money, from making others afraid. This is for anyone caught in that grip. The uncomfortable truth at the centre of it is this: in most cases, it is not the person making the threat who harms you. It is your own fear, doing their work for them.

Fear Is the Seed Someone Else Plants

People who threaten and boast are relying on one thing: that you will curse yourself on their behalf. They plant a tiny seed — a look, a warning, an implication — and it is your fear that waters it, feeds it, and lets it grow until it fills the room. The seed alone does almost nothing. The growth is all yours, which sounds like bad news and is actually the opposite: what you are growing, you can also stop feeding.

So the first move is deceptively simple: do not take the threat as seriously as it wants to be taken. Do not let your imagination run the film to its worst ending. These people have no power over you unless you hand it to them. You have the strength to say “no” and walk away. You have the strength to find the people who actually care about you. And, in shamanic terms, you have allies you may have forgotten you can call on.

Your Ancestors and Spirit Allies Are Already on Your Side

One of the quiet gifts of shamanic practice is the felt knowledge that you are not standing alone. Whatever your relationship to your bloodline, there are ancestors who wish you well, and there are spirit allies — power animals and guides — whose whole nature is protection. Fear tells you that you are exposed and unaccompanied. Working with your allies is how you find out, in your own body, that this is not true. A person who knows they are protected is very hard to manipulate through fear, because the story of helplessness simply does not land the way it used to.

If you have never met your protectors directly, that is where I would start — not with fighting the fear head-on, but with meeting who stands behind you. A shamanic journey is the most direct route, and finding your spirit animal is often the first ally people meet.

Overcome Fear by Changing Your Inner Voice

Fear rarely arrives as a single event. Something happens on the outside, and then the inner dialogue begins: What did they mean? What do they want? Are they trying to harm me? Some fear-based manipulation works precisely by installing beliefs in that inner voice — you are not strong enough, you cannot win. This is where Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is genuinely useful, because it gives you tools to change not just what the inner voice says, but how it says it.

Step one: listen closely to how you talk to yourself

The subtle qualities of your inner voice — its tone, volume, and location — are called submodalities. The next time you catch yourself in fear or self-criticism, notice:

• What exactly are you saying to yourself, and in whose words?
• Is the inner voice loud or quiet, fast or slow, close or far away?
• Where do you place the emphasis, and what tone carries it?

Step two: change the submodalities

Once you can hear how the fearful voice is constructed, you can alter it deliberately:

• Take the voice that just snapped at you and make it gentle — or turn its volume down until it fades out or stops entirely.
• Notice how your perception shifts when your head goes quiet. How much more present are you with the people around you?
• Get playful. Give the fearful voice a cartoon squeak or a quacking-duck tone. It is hard to stay terrified of a threat narrated by a duck — and the moment you laugh, its grip loosens.

None of this is denial. The point is not to pretend nothing happened, but to stop the other person’s seed from growing in the soil of your own mind.

A Simple Shamanic Practice for Protection and Grounding

1. Ground first. Feet flat, breath slow. Imagine roots dropping from the base of your spine into the earth until you feel steady and heavy.
2. Call in an ally. Invite a power animal, a guide, or a well-wishing ancestor to stand behind you. You are not asking to be rescued; you are remembering you are accompanied.
3. Set the boundary out loud. Say, plainly and once: “You have no power here.” No justification, no argument — a boundary, not a negotiation.
4. Return to small joys. Deliberately do one ordinary, warm thing — a walk, a laugh, a message to someone who loves you. Joy is not a distraction from protection; it is proof the fear no longer runs the house.

One caring note: if you genuinely feel unsafe — if someone is actually following or threatening you — please also reach out to trusted people around you or the appropriate authorities. And if the fear has become constant and impossible to quiet, it is a sign of care, not weakness, to talk it through with a professional. Shamanic work sits alongside that support; it does not replace it.

Overcome Fear: Questions People Actually Ask

Can someone really curse or hex me?

The power of a curse lives almost entirely in your belief in it. When you stop feeding that belief, the seed has nowhere to grow. Far more damage is done by the fear of a curse than by any curse itself — which is exactly why people who traffic in threats want you afraid.

How do I protect myself spiritually?

Ground your body, call on your allies and ancestors, and set a clear verbal boundary. Protection in this work is less about elaborate ritual and more about the steady, embodied knowledge that you are accompanied and that your “no” is real.

Does ignoring a threat make it worse?

Refusing to feed a threat with fear is not the same as ignoring a real danger. Take practical safety seriously where it is warranted — and at the same time, refuse to let the emotional charge of a threat run your inner life. Those are two different tasks.

What if I cannot stop the fearful thoughts?

Start with the body rather than the thoughts — ground, breathe, soften the inner voice using the submodality work above. If the thoughts remain relentless, that is a signal to lean on trusted people and, if needed, a professional. Persistent fear is treatable, and asking for help is part of reclaiming your power, not a break from it.

You have the power to change your relationship to fear. It does not get to run your life unless you let it — and you can begin taking that ground back today.

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